Weet-Bix the toughest substance known to man

I want to talk about Weet-Bix today after an incident this morning. Anyone who has experienced this culinary one dimensional breakfast food will know that all a Weet-Bix has to do is be in the same room as a liquid such as milk and it turns to mush. In addition anyone who has tasted the delights of this monochromic tasting morning treat will also know that all you need to do is open a box and they fall apart like some ancient Egyptian papyrus leaving most of the content smashed at the bottom of the box. So how is it that you come home after a night out drinking (I am not suggesting it is me) and you’re feeling a little bit esurient and think it’s a great idea to have some Weet-Bix only to find when you wake up on the lounge the next day after passing out that the Weet-Bix has dried around the edges of the plate into the toughest substance known to man and needs to be soaked in hot water and detergent for half an hour to get it off. Work that one out.

The Story of Sammy

1

It was a day pretty much like any other day when you looked out the window but to Sammy it was a day like no other. Today was the day that his school was going to visit Old Sydney Cove, a recreation park of Sydney in the convict era. Sammy’s twin brother Luke bounced out of bed and ran across the room full of excitement and jumped up on Sammy’s bed to look out the window as well, looking forward to the day ahead.

Sammy could hear his mother in the kitchen getting ready for the day packing a cut lunch for all three of them; their mother had agreed to accompany the class on the outing to lend a hand to the teachers that would be supervising them.
“Come on boys” she called as she walked past the bedroom door.
“Get dressed and we will have time for breakfast before we need to go.”
Sammy and Luke quickly got dressed and ran out to the kitchen where their breakfast cereal was already on the table.
“We have fifteen minutes before we need to go” said Sammy’s mother as she packed the sandwiches into a plastic bag. “And don’t spill anything on your clothes please; we don’t have time for a change.” Telling “six” year old twin boys not to spill anything on their clothes was like telling a fish not to swim but the boys were especially careful not to spill a thing, apart from a few drops of milk that their mother did not see.

Sammy’s mother opened the front door and walked out to the car and loaded the few things they needed for the day into the car boot including rain coats just in case. The weather report was good but it had predicted severe thunder storms later in the day, nothing unusual for this time of year and even now, this early in the day, you could sense the humidity in the air that was often a prelude to a storm later in the day.

They needed to meet the bus at the school at nine am and Sammy’s mother had been quite conscious of the time needed to make it on time or they would miss the excursion. After loading the two excited boys into the car and locking the house they were soon on the way to meet the rest of the class at school and then onto the bus for the ride down to southwestern Sydney and the adventure that lay ahead. The whole class was there for the trip when they arrived, only Kathy not able to make it because her mother said she was too unwell to come. Everyone knew she would not be there today because her parents could not afford the price of the entry fee, she had to be the poorest girl in the class but Sammy and Kathy were good friends and in the same class together and did everything together and Sammy was just a little disappointed.
For the rest of the class it was all very exciting and no time was wasted in getting on the bus. The trip took about an hour and no one settled down during the trip with all the children “Quite over stimulated” according to Ms. Johnson who had lost her temper with a number of children by the time they reached their destination.


Old Sydney Cove was long past its use by date with things looking a bit tired and run down. Some argued that it added a sort of authenticity to the place because after all it was set back in Australia’s convict past when things where not so clean and pristine.
Adults could see the tatty and worn out fittings but it all seemed quite realistic and authentic enough to the children.

They all ran from the bus and were soon organized into four small “convict” groups and a teacher or a parent was set as an overseer” to look after each group for the day. Each group would then head off in different directions around the park to visit the various recreations all set out on a large rural property. The park even had a recreation of Port Jackson with a tall ship included, all be it a very rickety scaled down example of one floating on a large water filled dam that had been backed up from the small creek that ran through the property.

Sammy and Luke naturally were placed in the same group that their mother was looking after, much to Luke’s displeasure, but Sammy could not be happier as he was very proud of his mother and more than happy for everyone to know. Each of the little convict groups headed off in different directions but they were to all meet up for lunch at the great shearing shed for the live show and sheep shearing demonstration. First port of call was the convict barracks for Sammy’s group where they were shown the poor conditions that convicts had to live in. Sammy was appalled at what the convicts had to call home much less the way they were treated. After visiting several other displays including the Blacksmith’s shop and the Governor’s house, it was nearing lunchtime and all the groups headed for the great shearing shed for lunch. As the children swapped stories about the things they had seen as the groups met around a giant table for lunch Sammy’s mother looked up at the sky and wished that she had not left the boys raincoats in the bus. The distant sky looked quite menacing.
“The prediction of bad storms in the afternoon looks like it will come true” Sammy’s mother quipped to the man standing next to her who was also looking at the darkening sky as he finished a cigarette. “Looks like the weather bureau got one right for a change” he said as he stubbed out his cigarette on the wall next to him.

After lunch the plan was for each group to once again go their separate ways and to meet for the final show of the day aboard the tall ship. There would also be a mock flogging and the little convict groups would have a photo opportunity to remember the day aboard the rather sad looking vessel sitting in the dam.


As the afternoon went on, the clouds began to gather strong and dark in the west as the storm approached. The teachers were only keen now to get the day over and make it back to the bus without getting caught in the storm. By the time Sammy’s group arrived at the Tall Ship all the other convict groups had arrived. Some of the kids were already on board having photos taken and Sammy was keen to get involved and have a photo taken on board the ship as well. Sammy ran ahead but Luke hesitated and did not want to take part in such a stupid childish game and, despite his mother’s encouragement, refused to board the ship. The ship rocked steadily as children ran from side to side out of control; again all a bit over stimulated for Ms. Johnson’s liking thought Sammy’s mother.

At one end of the ship a group of children were being shackled in pretend leg irons to have a photo taken and Sammy ran across not wanting to miss out. Sammy called for his mother to join in and he ran back and grabbed her by the hand and pulled her towards the action. Sammy’s mother noticed that the wind was picking up as the approaching storm gathered strength and a few large drops of rain began to splat down hard on the deck around them. The photographer, trying to finish before the rain hit, was busily locking the small phony leg irons around the ankles of the children as the wind gathered strength. Sammy and his mother were last to be locked in as the rain drops began to fall around them in ever increasing numbers. Jokingly Sammy’s mother laughed and commented to the photographer that she hoped that the ship did not sink as they would all be pulled into the lake and Sammy reached down and tugged at the light chain around his ankle and hoped she was joking.

With a burst of wind the storm broke and hit from the black ominous clouds as the heavens opened up with the full force of wind and rain. In an instant, children, parents and teachers were running everywhere to escape the storm and the little ship rocked violently as everyone ran to one side of the ship to get off. The ship lurched dangerously to one side and Sammy could feel the boat tilt under his feet as he saw the children in front of him lose their footing and fall over each other as they slid past him screaming, their chains falling off their legs as they went. Sammy looked around to see his mother knocked off her feet by one of the children as she called out his name and slide away from him as he tried to hang on to the railing next to her.
The ship did not seem to right itself as barrels and all kinds of bits and pieces flew past and smashed into the ships railings. Sammy could feel himself losing his grip on the ropes swinging from the rigging as the ship tilted even further.

2

The wind and rain outside Sammy’s window was blowing hard and he could hear his mother calling his name somewhere in the distance and it woke him from his frightening nightmare. He could hear the branches banging outside his window of his room and he sat up and reached over and pulled the blind to one side to look outside. The sun was not quite up but the sky was so dark and angry that it was hard to tell where the sun was as the rain and wind beat against the glass. Sammy was still shaking from his nightmare as he looked over to the other side of the room where he could make out the outline of his brother Luke in his bed. Sammy lay back down relieved that he was just having a bad dream. He listened to the wind outside for a few moments still a little unnerved by his nightmare.

Somehow he felt different, it was obviously cold outside with no leaves on the trees in the front yard of the house but he did not feel cold. He sat up in his bed and looked around the room but Sammy felt that there was something not quite right and he seemed unable to recognise the objects that should be familiar to him in the gloomy light. There was nothing in the room that was his and all of a sudden Sammy did feel cold and alone, somehow lost. As he climbed out of his bed he could see that Luke’s bed was different, the furniture in the room seemed different and he stood in the middle of the room turning slowly on the spot trying to recognise anything that was familiar to him. His toys were gone. Where were his things?
“What is wrong with me”, he thought to himself. “Why can’t I see anything that looks familiar?”
Slowly he walked over to Luke’s bed and reached out to wake him but hesitated as he realized that it was not Luke. He looked again at the form lying in the bed but the outline of the shape in the bed was too big; it was not the form of his six year old brother but the form of a much larger person. Sammy stepped back as his nightmare gradually flooded back into his mind. Sammy turned to jump back into his bed as the sense of terror and fear overtook his mind but as he turned he realized that there was no bed, there is only one bed in the room and it is not his.

The nightmare of the sinking ship flashed into his mind again as the sound of the wind and rain from outside seems to intensify. The ship, the rain and wind” he thought? Slowly but steadily a dark forbidding loneliness crept over his body as he tried to make sense of the things he saw around him, suddenly he felt very alone and lost, what had happened? How long have I been lost? The loneliness began to overwhelm him and he started to cry. “I am alone” he thought to himself?

As Sammy tried to suppress the feeling of dread that now rushed over him along with the strong desire to run, he suddenly remembered he was not alone, his mother was with him on the boat. But why can’t he remember? There are so many questions in his mind. Where has he been?
How did he get into his bed?
Why has he woken from such a nightmare now?
Was his mother looking for him? Hadn’t he heard her call him?
Surely if I have been woken from the nightmare in my room his mother must be here somewhere maybe in her room he thought, “Maybe she doesn’t know I’m here”, he was sure it was her voice that had woken him from his dream. The small boy ran to the bedroom door and out into the hallway calling to his mother; “I’m here mum you found me, you found me, today is the day you found me.”

Sammy reached the door to his mother’s room and ran through the doorway to see his father cradling a weeping woman in his arms who, as she sobbed quietly, repeated in a soft but sad voice,
“He is calling me. He keeps calling that he was lost but I have found him.”
His father whispers into her ear, “It’s ok sweetheart, it’s just the wind outside. It will be all right, it is just another bad dream and it will pass.”
Sammy stood at the doorway to the bedroom and then slowly walked to the side of the bed where his mother was now sitting up trying to wake from the nightmare. As Sammy walked closer to her, he can see his mother’s face in the soft light of the small lamp that sat on the bedside table. Sammy calls to his mother and she began to cry.
“He is calling me”, she says softly.
“Where are you Sammy?” she says between each deep sob.

Sammy’s father reached over and stroked her face and whispered tenderly to her to comfort her. “There is no one there my love. There is no one calling, it is just the wind.” As Sammy reached the side of the bed and moved closer to his mother he could see his mother’s worn face and the dark lines under her eyes, her hair slightly graying. She looked so much older, so upset, and so sad her once youthful happy smile was gone. She looked up and almost seemed to look into Sammy’s eyes and Sammy knew straight away that she could not see him and tears began to well in his little eyes as he whispers softly to her as he begins to understand, you did not find me. Sammy falls onto his mother with his arms around her and he begins to cry but it is as if he is not there.
“You did not save me, you did not bring me home” he sobs. For an instant his mother can almost see her young Sammy and begins to cry again.
“I tried.” she says. “I did my best, we all did but we could not find you in the muddy storm water. We looked for days but you were gone and we could not find you please forgive me.”

With a sudden flash of light the bedroom light came on and Luke is standing at the bedroom door.
“What’s wrong dad? Is mom ok?” he asks still rubbing his face as he tries to wake up? Sammy looked up at Luke and he saw not his brother but a young man of sixteen or seventeen. Sammy stepped back from his mother as the realisation starts to bite. He has been lost for more than 10 years.
“Its ok Luke” his father says. “Go back to bed. Your mother is having another bad dream, she will be ok.” Sammy’s mind raced out of control. He was alone and he was lost but who woke him from his dream?

The moment is broken as the phone rang and the people around him begin to take on a distant hazy appearance.  Sammy’s father walked from the room to answer the phone.
“Sit with your mother Luke”, he asks as he leaves the room.
Luke sits by his mother’s side to comfort her.
“It will be ok mom,” he said putting his arms around her waist and laying his head on her breast.
His mother looked at him.
“I am so sorry” she said. “We all tried to find Sammy, we did our best.”
Luke held his mother tight.
“It was not your fault mum. You did everything you could and Sammy knows that. He knows you tried to save him mum.”
Sammy stood in front of his mother, his little mind trying to put everything in its place and he whispers to his mom.
“It’s ok mum, please don’t cry. I’m ok”
A sudden feeling of relief rushed over the small boy and for the first time since waking that day he no longer felt lost. For a split second his mother seems to hear something and turned to look at him.
“Sammy?” she says tenderly.

Sammy’s father walked back to the bedroom door and stood silently and motionless at the door with a strange look of shock and relief all at the same time on his face as a small teardrop ran down his cheek. Luke looked up at him from his mother’s side
“What is it dad? What’s wrong?” he asks. “They have found him.”
Sammy’s mother looked at her husband.
“What?” she says. He repeats it again in a slow, deliberate, almost disbelieving tone.
“They have found our Sammy. There is an excavation for a new housing development on the site of the old theme park and an excavator has found the bones of a small boy. They have found Sammy.”

Sammy’s mum looked back to where she though for a second she saw something in the soft light but it was gone, but just for a second she thought she saw something, someone.

Phil Wilkinson. 2011

Why is anyone still listening to Rudd?

Just over a month or so ago Australia was ready to punt the federal government for the average job that they have done over the last 3 years and for the disgraceful behaviour of the party as a whole by removing a prime minister. Then we had 3 years of Rudd destabilisation of his leader and party and then there was the mistrust and basic dislike for Gillard and then what do you know “nek minnit” another leader stabbed in the back.

However since Rudd turned up there has been a change and I can’t work out why. I am mystified why anyone is still listening to Rudd let alone considering voting Labor after his and the behaviour of his party over the last 3 years. Over the last week I have been listening to him rabbit on about how well the economy has been managed and how well everything running now that he is back in charge. What justification is there for that statement?

If the economy is doing so well and the party he leads has done such a great job why is he taking credit for it? He can’t possibly take any credit for it as he wasn't leading the party - Gillard was and if everything was going so well and the government that he leads had done such a great job as he keeps telling me why is he the leader and not Gillard who did all the hard work?

Doesn't make sense to me, the reason Rudd is in power and not Gillard is his act of retribution and 3 years of the willful destabilisation of his own party. The reality is that this is exactly the same government that was there when he was in power the first time and stuffed up. It is the same party that Gillard was running and stuffed up and now he is back- it’s still the same party, changing the leader changes nothing! It’s like saying I will change the badge on my Holden with a Mazda and it may make it run better.

Oh and before anyone asks “well what about changes to the asylum seeker policy? He is fixing that up as well as the other things he has fixed since he came back?” Well first of all “fixed” is right he has to as he is trying to fix things Rudd / Gillard and his party stuffed up in the first place. Anyway I am not sure if he is not making things worse. I am not sure hitting us with new tax’s is “better” and sending so called boat people to New Guinea is far from a solution to the issue in my opinion. Oh sure, I hear you ask but what about the low interest rates?  Well what about them? It seems to me that the reserve bank is actually running the economy now not the government. The only reason the reserve keeps lowering interest rates is to try and keep the economy going and stop it stalling completely and sliding into recession because clearly the government has run out of bloody ideas, oh except to introduce more tax’s.

Making a few self-serving political changes over a few weeks leading up to an election doesn't a government make nor will it undo the 3 years of poor government or the crap Rudd has put us and his own party through just to get back into power.

All hail Caesar the return of Rudd.

I simply cannot let the last few days of Australian politics go without making some kind of critique of some of the combatants. While I have commented previously on many of the players it in worth going over it again just to remind myself how we got into this situation.

It started with the announcement on Tuesday that Rob Oakeshott and Tony Windsor would stand down at the upcoming election. While Windsor told a press conference that his health played a major part in his decision I can’t help but feel that his electorate will feel a little cheated not having the chance to “assess his performance” by their vote. Oakeshott was quite different in the way he extoled his own performance over the last 3 years and to be honest I found his self-justification of his actions staggering. In an article by Paul Sheehan in the SMH (http://www.smh.com.au/comment/what-a-load-of-oakeshott-20130626-2owev.html) he called Oakeshott's statements a “load of Oakeshott” and I kind of liked it. In his article he again pointed out the staggering betrayal that both Windsor and Oakeshott delivered to their electorates and the Australian people back in 2010.

 

In Oakeshott's electorate of Lyne, the primary vote of the ALP and the Greens together was only about 17 % with a similar vote for the Senate. In the wash up the Coalition won 45 % of the primary vote to Labor's 30 after preferences. The combined ALP/Greens vote against them was the second largest in the country and you know where the largest was? You guessed it, in Tony Windsor's seat of New England. So despite their electorates clearly voting for independents (conservatives) and not Labor and the Greens they both gave their electorates and Australia a Labor government.  The real slap in the face however to me is the way these two men have stuck to labor despite every stuff up, every political and policy disaster and every grubby scandal that came along they supported them to the very end and even now it would seem they will stick to the party that not only knifed a sitting Prime minister and leader in the back but have done it twice in 3 years. Some may call their actions a great show of loyalty and courage but I call their actions a denial of the truth based on their own political failings and poor judgement.

Now to Mr K. Rudd, I wrote last week of the circumstances of his removal over 3 years ago and how in a nut shell no one could stand him and his failed policies and with his star falling in the eyes of the public they got rid of him in a backroom deal using his own “trusted” colleagues. For 3 years this giant of virtue and righteousness has not only white-anted the prime minister but was more than happy to almost bring his own part to their knees in a indiscriminate, grubby clandestine war of sabotage where even his own supporters were not safe from his treachery with many having to fall on their own sword after the last failed coup attempt where he left them hung out to dry. In fact after Wednesday night the trail of wrecked careers of some of Labor’s best and brightest are scatted across parliament house as a result of this bitter conflict between Rudd and his party with the stench of the labor dead sacrificed on the altar of Rudd filling parliament house with the stench of death.

This brings me to those that are left the likes of Shorten, Wong and Carr among others who categorically said they would not support a Rudd return yet here we are on Thursday with them saying “well we just changed our minds”. The hypocrisy of Carr on the ABC was mind blowing to be honest after categorically ruling out shifting his support to Rudd and working as part of a Rudd cabinet but then it is amazing how low some people will stoop to keep their job and I would not be surprised that if they had to prostitute themselves to keep their job they would, if they have not demonstrated that already. It seems to me that there is nothing this party will not do, there is no betrayal too great and there is no disgraced member of parliament that they would not support and no policy disaster too great that they would not face reality. But it’s worse than that as there is nothing that this party can do that would get the greens or any of the so called independents to withdraw their support and set us free,  what does that say about them?

This brings me to the sanctimonious Christine Milne and the Greens. Despite everything that has gone on over the last 3 years, despite the scandal, the policy failures and the debacle this government has been she said she will continue to support the minority labor government, and why? So that Tony Abbott, not the liberal party but Tony Abbot does not become prime minister. This coming from the woman who has publicly stated numerous times and said at the national press club earlier this year “Labor - by its actions - who had effectively ended the alliance with her party”. Milne’s twisted sense of entitlement and lack of any credibility along with her hatred of Abbott as a man now holds the rest of us hostage, tied to a decaying corpse that was once the labor party with the support of Oakeshott and Windsor and the other independents. Milne seems to have forgotten that we are not voting for the individual and while you may not like Abbott we vote for the party not the person and at this point in time it seems there is only one side of politics that has a cohesive party and you certainly cannot say that of Labor. But none of that matters just so long as those currently in power stay in power and the rest of us, despite the poles, despite the obvious loathing, the scandals, failed policy and 2 failed leaders, well we can all go to hell.

I can’t help but think of Nero who fiddled while Rome burned when looking at all this. Well welcome back Rudd- All hail Caesar. Bring on the election.

The rights of the people

I have a question in light of the actions of people like Julian Assange and Snowden. I don’t know the ins and outs of their actions and it would seem to me that the true impact of their actions is not yet known apart from the obvious damage it is doing to the US ego but as far as lives put in danger that claim remains debatable by some.
My question is: If whistle-blowers become afraid of speaking up for fear of prosecution and if media become afraid to report the truth for fear of prosecution and the authorities that uphold the law are so close to the law makes that they are prevented from acting on doubtful behaviour, when the law makers themselves are part of the deception to operate covertly and it turns out the government authorised the deception - who is going to hold governments accountable for such betrayal of the people?
I hear you all say loud and clear WE the people will when called on to vote at an election. The problem is how will we know what is going on if the whistle-blowers become afraid of speaking up for fear of prosecution and if the media is afraid to report for fear of prosecution and the authorities that uphold the law are so close to the law makes that they are prevented from acting on questionable behaviour, when the law makers are part of the deception to operate covertly in the first place as it turns out the government authorised the deception?
If the whistle-blowers that exposed the systematic torture of prisoners by the US and its allies (directly and indirectly by sending people to second and third party counties) hadn't done what they did it would still be going on?  You bet it would because we wouldn't know about it.
This post is not in support or otherwise of the US, Assange or Snowden. I simply pose the question as I see a big problem.

Climate wars.

I have another rant on climate change (sorry) after seeing this article in the SMH
http://www.smh.com.au/executive-style/culture/blogs/all-men-are-liars/climate-wars-20130612-2o3fg.html

My Prediction.
As the climate changes vast areas that are currently arid will be transformed into arable useful land. Just as the Sahara desert was once a fertile land of plants and animals so it will be again and just as Antarctica was once covered in vegetation so it will be again.
Land that once stood above sea level will be no more just like the land bridges that once existed across The Bering Straits and down through Asia once existed and towns that once stood along coastlines around the Mediterranean now lie beneath the waves. Fertile parts of continents like America and Europe will become desolate while other continents will become fertile and rich. There will be extinctions just like the extinction of the Mammoth 10,000 years ago while other species will rise and dominate just like mammals over dinosaurs. Poor countries will become powerful and powerful countries will become poor as new areas are opened up for development. There will be mass displacement and migration of people just like our ancestors as they migrated across the globe following the seasons and food tens of thousands of years ago.
And how do I know all this? Because that has been our earth’s history of climate change it’s been going on for millions of years and it continues to this day, it is proven scientific fact. Are we contributing to it to some level? Possibly just like our ancestors probably did as well, but the myth of humans being able to stop it is the real danger in my opinion. We divert billions of dollars into climate change projects while people die around us. Money that could be used to feed millions of starving humans and provide clean drinking water right now are diverted into meaningless projects. What justification is there for such policy? Save the world for future generations, while we let millions of this current generation die? Sacrifice the few for the many, is that it? Is that the world you want to live?
Or will the true outcome of the policy of climate change be far more sinister than that (deliberate of otherwise) - maintain the status quo? Rich and developed countries remain rich and developing and the poor remain poor and undeveloped? The countries that have had the benefit of growing their economies unfettered by climate change policy now dictate that policy and inflicted that policy on those countries that now seek to grow. Is it right that these third world countries must take the responsibility and pay the price for the developed world? Will this be the end result of our climate change policies in the long run?
As I said in the beginning our climate has changed dramatically in the past and it will again. Our climate change policy is like trying to stop a tornado by getting everyone to pay a fee (tax) to stand in a line as it bears on them and blow in the opposite direction in the hope that the insignificant waft we produce will change its direction while the guy who came up with the idea hides in a shelter and uses the money to advertise to get more people to help.

Justice for the people

I can't help but comment on 2 high profile murder cases that have taken place in Australia over the past 12 months given some of the reports I have seen today. The first is the Thomas Kelly case and the downgrading of his murder charge and the second is the Jill Meagher case in Victoria.
I can only imagine that in the Thomas Kelly case and the downgrading of his charge to manslaughter that the prosecution have taken this option as they feel certain of a manslaughter conviction without a retrial if a murder conviction failed. The problem for the prosecution is that they will have to prove beyond doubt that he intended to kill Kelly. Given that Kelly’s actual death was because his head hit the ground and not due to the punch they probably feel that a jury would not find him guilty of willful premeditated murder. While I understand that if Kelly had not been hit his head would not have hit the ground the prosecution still have to prove that the perpetrator wanted to kill his target. Given the accused man had assaulted 3 or 4 others that night and none of them were seriously injured probably helped convince the prosecutors that they would be better served with a guilty plea of manslaughter rather than pushing for a murder conviction and fail. What will be interesting is to see what criminal history the accused has. As in the Jill Meagher case if it turns out the assailant has a long serious criminal record of assaults and should not have been on the street in the first place then the DPP could look at appealing any manslaughter conviction if it can.

This brings me to the Jill Meagher case and our parole laws and repeat violent offenders. The problem for our justice system is that they cannot really know what is going on in the human mind. Bayley (Meagher’s confessed murderer) himself has admitted that he lied about his “rehabilitation” to get parole and the parole board that assessed him to be fit for parole agreed when in fact he was not fit. In this case we are dealing with a psychopath and a psychopath is not a normal human condition. Psychopaths are not bound by normal social conventions or normal human reasoning or behaviour for that matter and so should be treated accordingly in the Justice system in my opinion.
There is no real rehabilitation option for people like Bayley because he himself is not bound by normal human constraints. The problem is that in this day and age we have been convinced by the "bleeding heart do gooder's" that we can help these criminals and that we have a responsibility to help them and if we don’t try rehabilitation to help them we are no better than the people we lock away. I come back to my first point we can never really fully understand or know what is going on in the mind of a psychopath like Bayley. The fact is he and criminals like him use our desire to help to gain parole and as with Bayley just so they can re-offend. How many chances to re-offend must a psychopath like Bayley be given with each crime escalating over time? Our responsibility in fact should be to the safety of law abiding people as well as the criminals we incarcerate. He was already in the one place fitting for such a person, safely locked away from reach of his deranged fantasy world in a place where we would have been protected from him and he would have been protected from himself surely that is the responsibility of our justice system. The question we must ask ourselves in the Thomas Kelly case is do we have another Bayley in our care and how many chances do we give him?

Great news for Ford workers bad news for the rest of us.

Great news for ford workers- We will look after Ford workers, says Swan.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/we-will-look-after-ford-workers-says-swan-20130523-2k26p.html#ixzz2U4Z31JMB
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/we-will-look-after-ford-workers-says-swan-20130523-2k26p.html

Oh sure! Just like they helped the Bluescope Steel workers in the Illawarra? A Labor government that should be supporting jobs in Australia is becoming the worst representative of the Australian worker. They have stuffed it up so badly. They have stuffed up the mining tax, the carbon tax, border security with our international neighbours and spent all of our financial reserves on crap from the education revolution to roof insulation to "save us" from the GFC. And don’t even start me on the list of current and former Labor party members who are facing charges or are under investigation for corruption after feathering their own nests while Australian jobs go down the drain and we the Australian people have to tighten our belts with tax cuts. This is nothing short of a betrayal of the Australian people. Have a look at this story on the ABC about how Labor are helping out Australian workers. (Cut and paste this link to the ABC) -http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2013/s3764355.htm

Holden, Bluescope now Ford and I am sure my friends in other states could list others. Who next before we can get them out of office? We are watching the slow death of manufacturing in Australia under the guidance of Gillard and Swan and the Australian labor party. Take a look at the ABC story and if the initiatives they are giving the Bluescope workers are any indication of their "help" they would be better to just give the money to the poor workers who need it. It’s another roofing insulation debacle all over again. You know what gets my goat more than anything? It is the utter hypocrisy of the unions who are supposed to stand up for Australian workers. If it was a liberal government in power unions around Australia would have united in support of the Australian worker and be up in arms but what do we hear from them? Nothing! With an election coming up they would be running advertising campaigns on TV against the incumbent government (as we have seen from them before) but what do we see? Nothing, not a word! You could only conclude by their silence that they are not interested in the Australian worker at all and the way this government treats us and it all meets with their approval. Their own silence condemns them to the irrelevant institution they have become.

What is racist?

Sorry I am a little late on this topic but I was off the air this week. There has been a lot of discussion on FB in regard to the Adam Goodes incident last week and I thought I would offer my own analysis from my point of view about it. From the outset let me say that Goodes is a great sportsman and could be considered a role model to ALL sport loving Australians (even if it is AFL) but to me this feels like a real media beat up, hell I don’t even think the original comment from the girl was racist anyway and if that is the worst thing Goodes has been called I would be surprised. That in no way excuses the girl’s poor behaviour but for god’s sake she is a 13 year old girl.
In my opinion Australia is in danger of losing its sense of perspective on this issue thanks to the media portraying Australia as a county full of racists. It seems to me that racism is very selective for the media who have pushed this story hard this week but has double standards on it. As a result of this lopsided media beat-up some people may come to the conclusion that they are in fact different and expect the rest of us to treat them differently from everyone else and this may in fact already be happening.

As someone who has travelled around the world a bit it’s my opinion that Australia as a country is not a racist country by any stretch of the imagination, there are certainly racists among us that’s true but as a whole the laws of this country allow anybody to come to this country and make a go of it no matter their background and they are equal under the law. That however can’t be said for many other countries. Try and buy a home or land in some of our Asian neighbour’s countries or get citizenship they actually have laws against it to stop you. Try and practise religious freedom in any Islamic country, on the whole nobody can say Australia is not a tolerant country by comparison.

There was actually an example on TV recently of this double standard from the media on this topic with a Scotsman selling a new Ute in an ad, you may have seen it. In the ad he tells us that we should trust a Scotsman when looking for a deal on a new Ute. What are they suggesting to us, that Scottish people are penny-pinchers and tight with their money? Let me give you an alternative for that ad that you will never see. Imagine if the Scotsman was replaced by a Jew in the same ad. I can tell you now the ad would never see the light of day and if it did it would be a news story. Why? It’s just a joke right? Why is it not offensive for a Scotsman to be in the ad but we would all feel that the ad was a little off if he told us he was a Jew and we should trust him to find a great deal the inference being that Jews are also tight with their money. I can’t help feeling that there are different standards of racism from a media who beat us up over the issue on one hand but are happy to use a Scottish person and the inference that it carries to sell a Ute but would probably never use a Jewish person to do the same job. We are being played on this issue by the media in my opinion and the real issues of addressing racism are not being helped by this sort of fake indignation from the media for the sake of ratings. Anyway that’s what I think and I may well be wrong but that’s just how this whole story for the last week has felt to me just a big media game.

Why we must move on from Rudd.

I can’t help but comment on the actions of Kevin Rudd over the last week and the reaction from some of the public.

The thing I don’t understand is why people are so taken in by this guy. Don’t misunderstand me I do get that there is a level of sympathy for him and the way he was treated by his own party when removed (inappropriately in my opinion) from the Prime Ministership. That said however I think people should remember the circumstances surrounding that event and how it came about. I think we have forgotten just what the circumstances were that led to his removal at the time. The picture back then was of a party losing its grip with a Nielsen poll in May 2010 indicating that if an election were held then, Labor would lose that election. All this came on the back of the disastrous roofing insulation debacle and failed climate change policy back flips and increased spending during the GFC. It is also important to remember that at that time he was ably advised by the likes of Gillard, Swan and Wong. Rudd also had come under increased criticism from those around him of his autocratic leadership style that was creating difficulty within his own office among his staff. In July 2010 Bob Hawk said of Rudd on the 7:30 Report “Mr Rudd could have been prime minister for a lot longer if he had taken a different approach”. Hawk also said “I also had the feeling that he would have avoided it all if he had been consultative". So at the time Rudd had created mistrust in the voting public and polls were on the way down with an even greater dislike among his cabinet, party colleagues and staff. There was certainly a collective “gasp” however from the public with his removal and a feeling that this was not the right way to treat a sitting prime minister and that he should have been allowed to see out his term and let the public decide his fate. It is this that I believe has created this “soft spot’ for Rudd today.  

However the conduct of Rudd since that time could not be described as dignified or prime ministerial. Rudd has conducted a subversive counter attack that has been a constant destabilising factor to the current government. He and his supporters have made every attempt to bring Gillard down and undermine her position as well as public confidence in her ability. Earlier this week on ABC Q&A Mark Latham, who knows a little about the savagery of labor politics accusing Rudd of being ‘‘evil’’ and “orchestrating a three-year ‘‘jihad of revenge’’ which he said was “unprecedented in Australian politics”. Latham said "You’re getting into the realm of evil here with Rudd, the realm of evil, with someone who has gone well beyond normal practices in politics...’’

As it looks at this time Gillard and her government, (again ably assisted the same people that were supporting Rudd - Swan and Wong) will fall victim of its own ineptitude in September but I am also sure there will also be a bit of pay back from the public for the wrongs done to Rudd.

This brings me to bit about Rudd and the fawning fans I saw on TV this week that I don’t understand. What has been Rudd’s motivation since his removal in 2010? Has it been to work hard to see the stability, prosperity and growth of the Australian economy for the benefit of the Australian people? Has it been to fight for Australian’s around the country that have lost their jobs and face significant financial hardship under this government? Has it been to see a resolution to the asylum seeker and border security issues facing this country? Or has it been to seek revenge, destabilise and unseat Gillard and her supporters? Based on Rudd’s actions since 2010 Latham may well be right when he described Rudd as a "once-in-a-century egomaniac". Based on the evidence you would have to say Rudd falls into the second category in my opinion. I don’t know about you but I am not sure this qualifies him for the job of prime minister of this country. I for one don’t think we need a leader that has displayed nothing but self-promotion, self-interest, contempt and revenge regardless of the impact those actions would ultimately have on the rest of us. Rudd should be consigned to history as the failed leader that he was and let’s move on.

A town like Bourke.

I could not help but feel sadness as I read through an article in the Sydney Morning Herald today: Crying out for a new beginning.

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/crying-out-for-a-new-beginning-20130201-2dq00.html

For a few years in the 90s I worked for the NSW state government and part of my patch was working in the Bourke area. I must admit that on my first trip out there I arrived with some trepidation. I had heard the stories of a dysfunctional town, high crime rates and zealous police.

What I found however was not quite what I was expecting. Yes I saw the poverty of some of the local indigenous people. I heard the stories from both sides of rough justice meted out by some of the local police. What I also found was a town that felt like an island oasis, a town made up of proud individuals who deep down loved this place black and white, this island in the middle of the bush. I also found a town not only overwhelmingly rich in aboriginal history but a place that is so burnt into the Australian psyche that much of Australia’s grounding and sense of mateship was born here. Names like Banjo Paterson, Henry Lawson and Breaker Morant helped put Bourke on the map and build an image of outback Australia, hell they even have a festival celebrating it.

What I also found was sadness a sadness in the people and a sadness in the local indigenous people. As I got to know some of them over time I began to get a sense of the people and how much they loved this place. I found many good people who just wanted a fair go from a town that was almost responsible for creating the concept. What I also felt was a people who had been so neglected by their own leaders that they had nowhere to turn. Feeling no part of the white man‘s world the one place you would think they could find refuge was among their own but it could not be found. 

I still remember my first tour around the town with a local council representative driving past houses that were no more than shacks. I remember we turned down what my tour guide referred to as Crystal St, not that there is a Crystal street in Bourke that I know of, that was the name he gave it due to the amount of broken glass built up over the years that covered the road reflecting the sun’s rays in the late afternoon. In my naivety I asked what was being done to help not realising that I was looking at the help around me in the broken buildings they called homes. As I read this story today I found it hard to comprehend that nothing could have changed since then.

It has been some years now since an apology was made to indigenous Australians of the stolen generation on our behalf. An apology that was given to help heal the wounds of the past caused by the government of the day when they forcibly removed children from parents, an action considered necessary for the protection of some Aboriginal Australians yet it caused so much pain and suffering for so many.
So how has the apology helped the people of Bourke? Has it made the issues that face local aboriginal Australians any better? Has it really allowed people to move on? As I read though the story I could not help but think that there was something missing for these people, something more that was needed before they are able to move forward.

If the apology was considered necessary from our government for past deeds committed against aboriginal people I can’t help but feel that what is missing is an apology from their own Aboriginal leaders for the systematic abuse by previous indigenous organisations, individuals and leadership? Abuse that was going on as Kevin Rudd spoke the very words of apology and as suggested in this article still obvious in Bourke today. It is well documented and acknowledged that governments have got it wrong and carry much responsibility with numerous inquires pointing out the failures. But what of the failures of aboriginal leadership and organisations that have let their own people down?

There are many examples that have come to light over the years of federal and state funds squandered on projects that brought little or no benefit to people that were in need by their very own people . There are countless examples of some Aboriginal leadership who were abusing the very communities they served, and there are examples of leadership who not only knew of financial abuse, neglect even sexual exploitation including assaults on women and paedophilia but did nothing and I am not suggesting that has taken place in Bourke I have no evidence of that. But who from current Aboriginal leadership will stand up and apologise for past neglect and abuse of their own people? If it was necessary for our government to take responsibility for the misguided deeds of the past should it not be necessary for Aboriginal leadership to take responsibility for their own misdeeds?

Sorrow and forgiveness from within a family can be a powerful thing. Following a dispute with a loved one the admission of wrong and a full and unconditional apology can bring profound healing to that family, was that not the intended result of an official apology by the federal government to assist in that process? An expression of sorrow can invoke a strong and binding family relationship that allows that family to heal, forgive and move forward. Surely it is this very healing and forgiveness that is needed now in Bourke. The healing process may have begun with Kevin Rudd. We as a nation can now look back and admit that things should have been done differently. Healing for indigenous Australia also needs to come from within as an expression of sorrow giving people the opportunity to move forward. Until that time I cannot see how Bourke can move forward as my impression is that they feel they can’t trust anyone not even their own leadership. Where are they going to turn and how do they move forward?

What right to develop.

I have recently seen a number of stories about environmentalist decrying the growth of developing countries and the use/ destruction of their own natural resources. There is a moral, social and responsibility conflict in play with many of these situations and it’s being played out in developing countries around the world, especially in countries desperate for social and economic reform like South America, Africa and India.

Developed countries like Australia have for the past 200 years or so had the opportunity to develop their economies and revolutionise our way of life without any meaningful restrictions on what we could do or how we did it. We built dams, we flooded valleys, we dug up coal and uranium we built power stations and we displaced countless people to build the wealth of this country, rightly or wrongly.

Many developing countries now find themselves in a position where they too have the opportunity to build a modern and prosperous society and bring social reform, health and benefits to millions of their citizens.  Those countries like ourselves who now enjoy the social and economic benefits of that development over the last 200 years must be careful not to place the guilt or responsibility for our failures on other countries who simply desire the same benefits we now enjoy.

The guilt and responsibility for our own failure to protect, value and preserve our own natural assets, people and culture should not be placed on the shoulders of other countries. Counties and people who not only deserve the same level of wealth, health benefits,  financial security and living standards that we now enjoy but are most in need of that social renewal and financial security, things that come with such development.

I don’t know what the answer is and I don’t know what the right balance is but we must find it together as a world. I am very reluctant to simply stand up and say NO you can’t do that when no one ever said or had the right to say no and stop us from doing exactly the same thing. Do we have the right to doom millions of people who had no say in where they were born to continuing poverty, security threats and third world living standards by stopping them from developing and using their own natural resources because of our own shame?

And I have not even started on the issue of the amount of financial aid we are then obliged to give such countries keeping them just hovering in poverty unable to develop, propped up by us because they are unable to develop their own resources- that’s a whole new topic.

Don't make a boob of yourself you stupid tit.

 

I must admit that I am a bit bewildered by the reaction from some with regard to the Koshie comments made about breastfeeding. In particular the over the top aggrieved reaction displayed by some women. It seems however to be the most common method of proving this argument. Howling down someone who has an opinion different from yours so that they can’t voice it doesn’t make your point of view right or the other wrong. As far as I knew we still lived in a country with the freedom to hold our own opinions but it would seem that with this issue some opinions are free for some but not for others.

 

I have no issue with breastfeeding in public at all but neither do I have issue with the opinion that Koshie expressed (however poorly worded it may have been) or his right to express it. How is it that it is demanded of Koshie that he respect the rights of women to breastfeed in public whenever and wherever they want but there is no allowance for Koshie to have his right to an opinion. An opinion I should point out that is not against breastfeeding in public but simply expressing an opinion that for some women it could be done more discreetly. He has not asked for a ban, for it to be regulated or restricted he simply commented that some people could show a little respect for others around them -my god what a crime showing others some respect. The reaction regarding this is not proportionate nor is it warranted, it is bullying. 

 

There have been many who have used the “essential” basic human need argument for breastfeeding in public as justification for their venom. Come on, people show restraint every day with “essential” human needs. There are many in our society who need injections for life sustaining drugs for things like diabetes, is their need any less? I don’t see people injecting themselves on the spot all over the city in public, they manage the issue, they show some respect for the environment and people around them knowing that some may find it uncomfortable or off putting.

                                                                         

Most of us over 40 survived without on demand feeding in the past. I don't remember a time when I was young that if I was not fed immediately when out in public I would die of starvation. Is this essential human need different now in some way? Are children now prone to starvation in this strange new world? There is another issue at play here in my opinion. This over reaction by some mothers is more a reflection of the selfish “my rights” society we live in today. My right, my opinion, me, me, me. Get a grip people there is no me it’s us.

 

But it seems when it comes to children and women's rights debate and reason go out the window. God forbid that we would consider others feelings, that time is long gone now. That thought belongs to a time when we actually cared about the people around when out in public. A time when a person on the bus would get up and offer a seat to another person or a time when holding a door open was not a sexist act but a common courtesy. To day it is all about self and a reflection of the selfish "I want it now and I have rights" world that we live in.

 

Today when a child screams a child instantly gets. Parents don't know how to say no anymore. Parents are simply conditioning themselves and their children for the on demand selfish society we have shaped for ourselves over the last 20 or 30 years where no one else matters it’s all about my rights not you or your feelings.

The gift of a gift given freely.

I could not help but be drawn into the story of Simon Gittany the guy accused of murdering his girlfriend Lisa Cecilia Harnum by making her fall from the balcony of their apartment in Sydney. It would seem that he was a controlling and manipulative individual from evidence given at his committal hearing in Sydney this week. Why do people want to control other people? It seems that he did everything to control her life possibly so that he could have her for himself? I don’t know.

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/fiance-to-stand-trial-for-murder-over-balcony-death-20130118-2cy07.html

It made me think of an incident that happened to a friend this week. My friend had an interesting experience this week when a tiny visitor called in. When she got up in the morning and went outside to water the plants she found, hanging from the roof of the veranda a tiny brown micro bat.

It was fascinating the way people reacted to my friends Facebook posts and this tiny visitor. While common in the area they are seldom seen close up and the reaction to its presence was thought-provoking.

When she posted photos on face book the conversation was exciting as the comments started to flow. While my friend would never hurt it the first reaction from many was to make it a pet and catch it.

People are funny when it comes to wild things the first reaction for many of us is to control them, tame them make them our own. I guess this is so that we are able to enjoy them under a controlled situation. Maybe it is so that we are able to extend the enjoyment it brings us, so we are able to experience the event the next day or the day after that. Maybe it’s so that others can’t have them and we get to keep the experience to ourselves.

Over the day there was a flurry of text and photos and little updates. When she got home from work that afternoon she found the little bat still there sound asleep and another flurry of face book posts and texts appeared. Then later in the evening the final post to say that it had flown away and was gone.

It’s not often that we are given the gift to experience something special without looking for it, particularly something as exclusive and mysterious as a bat. For this little bat to make its home for a day in her house gave her a little insight into another living creature’s world not contrived not enforced but voluntarily, however inadvertently it came into her world.

Judging from the amount of Facebook traffic and the level of conversation generated and the number of photos the joy the event created was obvious and would be difficult to replicate under any other circumstances. It just goes to show that sometimes the simplest things can bring joy and you don’t necessity need to own them, possess them or control them to gain it.

Often people come into our lives just like the bat, unexpected. They are there for a while and we have the chance to enjoy them and gain a special insight into their lives and share something special sometimes even the people around us get to enjoy them. It may not last and we find one day it is gone but what it can add to your life is something that you can’t pay for, can’t be forced and sometimes can’t even be repeated. I am sure we have all tried to hold on to people when we shouldn’t at some point in our lives, we try and catch them and possess them I know I have and for that I say I am sorry.

It would seem that for Lisa and her family their time together has been cut short by someone who wanted to own and possess her instead of standing back and enjoying the gift.

Christmas.

It happens but once a year and that time is now

When people go crazy and grow to a crowd.

The shops are all filled with the trappings of joy

But deep down inside I know it’s a ploy.

There is no joy; it’s a retailer’s spin

There is no peace; it’s just all marketing zing

It’s not time for family and friends to join in

It a time for shops and banks to cash in.

Where did it go the Christmas of old?

Where did the child hood memories all go?

I don’t remember the crass commercial spin

It seemed much nicer for me and my kin.

When Christmas lights were nice and discreet

And not competition out on the street

Christmas seemed somehow just nice and sweet

And kids were just lucky to be given a treat

It’s all gone to hell this time of year

People and traffic blocking the streets

Kids can take back the gifts that they get

Without even a thought of the cost or the debt.

So as my Christmas turns into a dud and a sham

And I realise I didn't even get a nice ham

All I have for lunch is one tin of spam

I suddenly realise, Phil you’re just a grumpy old man.

Have a great Christmas everyone. 

Something Fishy at the Fish markets.

When friends recently suggested a trip to the Sydney fish markets I was filled with joy. I have the pleasure of visiting the fish markets often through the year and it is always a fun and interesting experience. It is such a dynamic place despite the hardships involved. The crush of people, the smell of the fish, the search for a place to sit, finding a drink and then defending it all from the ravenous sea gulls, while watching some “want-to-be captain” reverse park his boat into a spot that’s way too small for it. It all adds up to a fun afternoon next to the water, but talking with friends in the hot afternoon sun, a few bottles of wine or a few cold beers all the hardships are soon forgotten, it is one of Sydney’s great Sunday afternoons. In fact a trip to the fish markets almost has a primordial experience about it it’s like making a connection with a time when we were hunter gatherers, when people had to go out and catch a meal. 

I meet my friends in the city and I eagerly walked the short distance from the city to the markets with friends in tow anticipating the pleasant afternoon ahead, I almost outpaced them in my enthusiasm to get there. Imagine my horror as I arrive at the markets to be directed by my friends to one of the new café style establishments on the perimeter of the markets to buy my fish. As I walked among the aluminium chairs, pushing past gormless people gazing trance like at the pre-prepared food in the bain-maries I could feel my joy being sucked out of me. There was no hunter gather experience there was no selecting my fish from the ice filled counters, there was not even any challenge in finding a seat and there was certainly no water view. A trip to the markets had become a “shopping center  experience it was so “convenient”. I could be sitting inside any café in any shopping center in Sydney. I looked out over the sea of cars driving up and down trying to park it was as if my life had been taken over by convenience. Everything was convenient, the car park was convenient, and the food was convenient, the tables and chairs were convenient, even the wide screen TV showing a sport was conveniently positioned; in fact I didn't even need to leave the café to buy a beer it was all right there, conveniently.

As I sat in this air conditioned convenience with my overcooked battered fish swimming in hot oil sipping my tepid beer I could only envy the people down next to the water in the hot afternoon sun, warm wine in hand searching for a seat covered in sea gull deposits, sea food balanced precariously on a tray, pushing past the sweaty masses. There was only one thing to do. Hey mate! Get me another beer while you’re up will you? I don’t want to miss this guy trying to reverse park his car into that tiny, little parking spot.

My 3 rules in life.

Rule 1. Live your life in such a way that you can honestly look back and say you did your best, had joy in your life and brought help and happiness to those around you without harming anyone.

Rule 2. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks of the way you live your life. The way you live your life is between you and your God, if you believe. If you do believe then God gave no person the ability to look into your heart nor did God give any person the right or authority to pass judgment on you.

Rule 3. follow rule 1 the rest will look after itself.

If Only we were all able to keep rule one.

To Go or Not To Go? That is the question?

There are a few things that you just know are important: a drink of cool water on a hot day and a toilet when you really need one.

I think it is probably a common fear for all of us at some point in our lives, needing a toilet and not being able to find one. I spent may years working in out back Australia and it was not un common for me to drive 10 hours plus to reach a destination and should the need arrive that you needed to make a “pit stop” I would just pull over and “take a break” if you know what I mean. In fact I became very proficient at crafting conveniences out of old bushes, branches, stumps and forks in trees when you needed to make a stop for number “two’s”. The great thing about the out back is that I could often drive for many hours and not even pass another car let alone bump into another person so stopping and taking a break was not much of an issue. I would have said in fact that there was not much that fazed me when it came to the call of nature in this regard because lets face it when you need to go you need to go and there is a whole lot of land out there in the outback. Unfortunately the same can not be said for large cities and when the call of nature can be felt deep in the “bowels” of the city finding that elusive public loo takes on a who new meaning.

I had the great pleasure of traveling through the western districts of China a few years ago and we had traveled to Xi’an to visit the Terracotta Soldiers. For anyone who has ever contemplated the incredible monument to human endeavor that is Terracotta army I can tell you nothing prepares you for the incredible sight of the row upon row of soldiers standing in an area covered by 3 aircraft hanger size sheds it is truly one of the most amazing things I have seen. Every man is different from the other and includes horses, chariots and it is only a part of the total site that includes still more buried armies. The other great thing about visiting a place like China is the food. If you think you know about Chinese food wait till you go to the home of Chinese food. I would have to say that it is as astounding as it is confronting. I don’t mind trying new things and when confronted with the prospect of trying dog I did not flinch when it came to cold cuts of donkey meat I had a go. However there are a few things that I know are not going to work and one of them is shellfish. From experience no matter how it is cooked or how it is prepared I just know me and shellfish just don’t mix. For some with an allergy to shellfish the reaction can be as simple as coming out in spots but in its worst form it can restrict breathing and actually be life threatening. Thankfully for me my allergy is not life threatening but the reaction is violent. I know that when I do get a little taste of an offending sea creature the bodily response is not good and a bathroom is a necessity.

I had been in China for about 2 weeks and had managed to try just about everything and avoid any hint of shellfish, not bad for a country that just loves sea food. I had one day and one night to go before my flight back to Australia. We had decided to spend the last day at the Xi’an markets and do a bit of last minute shopping. The markets cover about 2 city blocks and are made up of food stalls as well as shops containing every conceivable object known to man and or woman. As we wandered around the stalls in a crush of relentless human activity we thought we should stop for lunch. Now there is another good thing about traveling in China and that is when you want to have a good feed of Chinese you don’t need to find China Town…. You’re standing in it. Interestingly every little district or place you go has its own particular style of food and in this particular part of Xi’an it was a kind of soup cooked on the table in front of you as you eat it. It comes with a soup base in a clay pot that is put on a small gas fire in front of you and then you chose the food you would like to add and as you cook you eat from the boiling pot of soup. The people I was traveling with went to great lengths to explain to the rather cute waitress that I could not eat shellfish so I was relieved to see that my selection of food when it arrived at our table was made up of meat of unknown origin but definitely not sea food and vegetables of equally unknown origin but defiantly not sea food. It was a wonderful meal with the aroma of the soup and the wonderful smells of the different combinations cooking swirling around us. At the end of the meal the remaining soup is poured into a little bowl and you finish it off with a cup of green tea.

You could imagine my surprise then when as the soup was poured into my cup a flurry of little prawns flowed into my cup. I instantly looked at my friends, my head turning to look at them and they instantly looked at the waitress (who now took on the appearance of a serial killer to me) with a look of horror and she said with a smile “no sea food, just in soup!” The sky around me suddenly grew dark as a hundred scenarios ran through my mind. It was my last day in China how could this happen? Determined not to let it spoil the rest of our day I took the courageous decision to ignore it but deep down I knew it was just a matter of time. Like a time bomb primed and ready to go off I know what was about to happen. For the next half hour we continued to walk around but I could not concentrate on the shops no matter how I tried. I just could not ignore the tide welling up inside me. I found myself thinking about the distance from my bum to the nearest toilet and that was the best I could hope for as I knew only too well that it often came up as well as come out.

It began slowly at first but just like a dam wall with a small crack I know something is about to give. It came on as a cold sweat at first and then the inevitable growling in the lower bowel; I knew it was on for young and old. I look at my friend and I said in a calm but cold tone I need a toilet and I need it NOWWW! It was right then just as the nowwwww was leaving my lips that I saw it. It was a low concrete and brick building at the far end of the street somehow inconspicuous but quite obvious now, my salvation. As I start to walk towards it I realise that I am walking like a speed walker in the Olympics and before I know it I have broken into a trot in my attempt to avoid the trots. I now break into a fully-fledged run and as I enter the building and peer through the dark humid air as wave of relief rushes over me. I turn into a small corridor of cubicles and a wave of dense stench so thick you could hardly see through it replaces the wave of relief. My first thought is thank god western toilets. I go to the first door and it is locked. I move to the second but it is occupied, that’s fine no need to panic. The third is clearly out of order as indicated by the precious white porcelain bowl scattered in pieces on the floor. This leads me to the last remaining cubical and I knew in an instant that without a door it was bound to be a simple hole in the floor but at this point I was beyond care. As I turned into the cubical I was confronted with a sight so horrendous that I almost lost not only lunch but a good part of all my bodily fluids all at once.

There before me was a pyramid, no a cone of excrement so high protruding from the floor that I don't think I could have stood over it where visitor after visitor had contributed to this new monument of Xi'an. I stood in silence; the world stopped the sounds of a million people silent and the darkness almost pressing against my skin. I begin to slowly walk backwards from the cubical my eyes fixed to this “other” monument of human endeavor. It was like looking at a car crash that you know you don’t want to see but you just can’t help yourself. I continue walking backwards pushing past people on the way in, one who seems intent on going into the cubical I had just left. As I walk back into the street the light hurting my eyes the sound of someone calling me brings me back to the present and the realization that I still need a toilet. Just as I begin to give up all hope and come to terms with the fact that I am about to say goodbye to my dignity and lunch a taxi pulls up right in front of me. I reach in and pull the bemused people from the car and collapse into the back seat and cry out the name of my hotel in the best Chinglish I can while clenching my butt cheeks together and as I sit up grasping the startled driver by the collar I look into his eyes with a cold dead stare and I simply say FAST!